Daniel A. Bochner, Ph.D.

Relationships are arduous work! It may not always seem that way at first, but if a couple remains intact for any significant length of time, the work part of love either becomes quite evident or there's not enough differentiation between the partners. The articles in this subsection deconstruct patterns within couple relationships and get to the meat of the question involving why relationships are difficult. In Women and Men gender similarities and differences are explained as part and parcel to human evolution with hope of creating better understanding and communication in couples. Healthy functioning within any relationship between equals is examined in The Three A's of Relationship, with an emphasis on the balance between flexibility and staying true to oneself. The issue of togetherness vs. self-motivation is discussed in Connection and Independence since it is such a common area of dispute within couples. In the last article of this subsection, Understanding Personality Styles in Couples, the patterns of relating between various individuals who have developed very specific personality styles is outlined. The Can Two Parts Beat as One? subsection focuses primarily on how various cogs have been machined to fit together in very specific ways, but also how that machining (human development) leads to problematic patterns and requires understanding and acceptance.