Daniel A. Bochner, Ph.D.

Coupling is at the center of the Great Life Machine. Everyone wants to couple! And the machine won't run without an adequate fit between the two essential and complementary parts at its core. But it's not always so easy to get these parts functioning in unison. Communication breakdown is all too common, and often it seems these two cogs run at odds. While two cogs must be complementary in a multitude of ways for there to be any fit at all, complementarity also leads to differences that cause conflicting cross purposes of function. Of course, the vicissitudes of couple life are often trapped within gender differences. More often than not, however, the simple truth is that intimacy is difficult. Coupling challenges us to be vulnerable, caring, loving and connected, but simultaneously genuine, striving, strong and independent. A couple is a team, and as a couple two people have an unparalleled opportunity to really be there for each other like no one else will. Yet, as equals, two people in a couple can each lead down disparate paths, thus pulling apart and often against one another. Coupling is truly complicated. In this section on couples, I hope to shed light within the depths of the Great Life Machine to see how the coupling mechanism at its core can function most smoothly.

The first subsection asks the question, Can Two Parts Beat as One? and answers with articles highlighting gender similarities and differences, focusing on acceptance, accommodation, and assertiveness, and understanding how particular ways of relating fit together within the couple unit.

The second subsection peers into the thinking involved in dating and sex, and the relation between those experiences and getting serious or committed to another. This subsection, New cars, fast cars, backfires, and crashes warns against driving too fast, questions what it means to drive, and cautions against driving your comfortable, safe, slow riding, Town Car as if its a rough and ready roadster.

In the "tools" section here, the wrench, screwdriver, and hammer are found in various kinds of communication tools. The articles in Tools for Making Yourself Fully Understood range from relating that one's viscosity is breaking down, or signaling the anticipation of engine failure, to a method for simply requesting minor adjustments in the current workings of the machine.

Couples are at the very center of the Great Life Machine. Reproduction occurs in couples as does child-rearing, and thus, obviously, the Great Life Machine is not sustainable without couples. Getting couples working at their best creates happiness in each individual, but also gets the rest of the machine working well, as the smooth functioning of the couple is passed down into healthy functioning within children and, in the greater scheme, within the community as a whole.