BREATHE!
by Dr. Daniel A. Bochner
It might be hard for you to believe, but there is no better advice I
could give anyone than, simply put, to breathe! There are so many
activities in which we engage for which, strangely, we stop breathing.
You see, a cessation of breathing, or rather very shallow breathing, is part
of the body's sympathetic nervous system reaction which is triggered
whenever we fear something. The sympathetic nervous system reaction
is also known as the fight, flight or freeze syndrome, or the “three Fs,”
and includes blood flow to the major muscle groups (upper arms, thighs,
and back) and away from the extremities (feet and hands), tension or
readiness in the major muscle groups, blood flow away from the other
body organs including the stomach, and increased cardiac reaction. If a
ferocious lion were to walk into the room where you are now, I hope you
would have some kind of reaction. You might need to run (flight). If the
lion catches you, you better be ready to battle (fight). Perhaps if there is
some chance that you might not be seen by the lion, you would do well to
keep perfectly still (freeze).
It is this last reaction, freezing, that is by far the most common in us
humans. Unfortunately, we react this way when there is practically
nothing to fear at all. Even when you consider those activities that almost
everyone considers scary, like public speaking or a meeting with your
regional director, there is no chance of being ripped limb from limb or of
your home being burnt to the ground. Thus there's little reason the three
Fs should be activated. Right? Well, of course we do become somewhat
tense in these situations, even if no one can even tell. It's this last part,
the part about no one being able to tell, that most involves the stop in
breathing. When we stop breathing, we are freezing. With us humans we
stop breathing or freeze so no one will notice how we are reacting. We
don't want people to see that we're tense when we first meet them or
when we're expected to give a rousing speech. Thus we react in the same
way an animal reacts when afraid of a predator.
Of course there is no predator in these examples, just the importance
of a situation. And perhaps we're not quite as frightened as the animal
that is afraid of a predator. If we were that afraid, we probably wouldn't
hide it very well. Sometimes, however, we stop our breathing even when
there is really nothing about which to be afraid at all. You see, the
problem with having such a huge brain for us humans is that we
significantly overgeneralize danger. Sometimes we stop breathing just
because we are trying to explain something to someone or because we are
listening intently. Certainly we often don't breathe the way we should
when we're having a stressful day at work. When we stay in this tense
state, a state characterized by shallow breathing as well as tightening
muscles, and poor blood flow, for any prolonged period of time, we often
develop head, stomach, back, neck or shoulder aches. Recognizing your
tense state, and preventing it from becoming prolonged, can be the key to
keeping yourself in a comfortable zone for better performance and a
general sense of well-being. The way to keep yourself in that zone is to
breathe.
Fortunately, even though our brains are maladaptively efficient to
the point that we overgeneralize so many experiences as dangerous, the
size of our brain actually helps in that, unlike other animals, we have the
force of will to overcome our overgeneralizations. That is, unlike other
animals, we can tell ourselves to do things that trigger the opposite of the
three Fs. The opposite of the three Fs is known as the parasympathetic
nervous system reaction. The parasympathetic nervous system is
activated when we are digesting our food, resting, or going to sleep. Part
of the parasympathetic reaction is breathing calmly and deeply.
Being human as we are, we can activate the parasympathetic
relaxation response by forcing ourselves to breathe deeply. The body is a
system that gives itself feedback to determine what to do next. The brain
reads a certain amount of oxygen in the lungs as a sign that it's time to
relax. If you breathe deeply, you won't even be able to help but get more
calm. Even better than that, when we do breathe deeply, we calm down
not only our bodies, but also our minds. The mind looks for consistency
between the way we're feeling and the way we're thinking. Just like the
tension in your body makes your thoughts more stressful (your heart
starts beating hard so you start to worry that you are having heart
problems), calm in your body makes you have more calm thoughts (“I'm
starting to breathe easy, so everything must be safe”). As you will find
out from using it to your advantage, breathing is the best, most obvious,
and easiest way to make yourself calm down as quickly as possible.
So let's talk about a way to improve your breathing. While there are
many ways to breathe that are helpful, I will describe just one method that
has been extremely helpful to me. The one thing that all breathing
methods have in common is that such breathing must be “diaphragmatic”
breathing. That means that you are not really taking a deep breath unless
your diaphragm descends and thus forces your belly to rise (the stuff in
your abdomen has to go somewhere when your diaphragm moves
downward). In getting to understand what I mean, I suggest you put your
hand on your belly and breathe as deeply as you can. If your belly rises
naturally from the force of your lungs filling with air and pushing down
your diaphragm, then you are taking a diaphragmatic breath.
Many people have difficulty with diaphragmatic breathing at first.
Some people force their belly outward even though they have not taken a
large breath. Some people simply feel like they cannot breathe any more
deeply because when a person is in a stressed state it does not feel natural
to take large breaths. For some people there is a feeling of self-
consciousness because we tend to be very weight conscious in our culture
and certainly do not want our bellies to protrude any more than
necessary. Other people start to take short quick breaths and can even
start to hyperventilate because they are not taking deep breaths. So it is
very important to make sure that you are taking as much air as possible
within your lungs. Do not push out your stomach, but let the air in your
lungs push out your stomach. When you get fully comfortable, you will
start to see how it is natural to simply pull down your diaphragm to suck
air deeply into your lungs.
Once you get the feeling for a diaphragmatic breath, I want you to
try taking such a breath by inhaling through your nose and then exhaling
through your mouth (if you're congested, just use your mouth –
remember, it's the diaphragmatic nature of the breathing that's most
important, not the exact way you breathe). Keep your hand on your belly
so you will continue to monitor the depth of your breathing. Now as you
breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, I want you to
try to get into an easy, slow, and natural rhythm. Within your rhythm,
notice a sensation of floating when you inhale and then a feeling of sinking
as you exhale. In and floating... out and sinking. In and floating... out
and sinking, all in a nice, slow, comfortable rhythm. Try floating like a
helium balloon, and sinking like a lead weight. Or, if it suits you better,
float on top of a wave as it gently carries you, and let yourself sink as the
wave gently passes you. As you get yourself into a comfortable pattern,
you will see that you are now much more relaxed than you were when
you started.
What I will now ask you to do will really sound like overkill, but it
generally proves to be helpful. The primary goal in learning to breathe
better is that you start noticing your shallow breathing and then do
something about it so that you keep yourself calm and relaxed. So, what I
want you to do is take at least six deep, diaphragmatic breaths, every half
hour on the half hour for the next three days. That's right, every half
hour on the half hour for three days. Please do not hold yourself to this
pattern in an obsessive fashion. If you are a typical person, you are going
to forget many times over the next three days. When that happens, just
pick it up again and try to stay on track. The purpose, remember, is
simply to get you as aware as possible of your shallow breathing. If you
monitor your breathing frequently over the next three days, you will start
to notice your shallow breathing whenever it occurs. When you notice it,
you will become accustomed to fixing it.
Noticing your shallow breathing is the absolute best you can do.
You will never be able to prevent shallow breathing all of the time. If you
do become a master of your breathing at all times, you are probably not
human. To be alive is to react to your environment. Breathing can
simply help you stay as relaxed as possible when you do notice that your
breathing has become shallow. If you use this tool frequently and well,
you will soon find that you are preventing debilitating tension in your life.
If you get aches in your body, including headaches and stomach aches,
you will notice that they occur much less frequently. You will even notice
that sometimes you are able to rid yourself of these aches after they
already exist (although that is much more difficult).
After reading this article, I hope you will make good use of breathing
as a tool. If you do, you will notice that you will use it for the rest of
your life. It will likely become a cornerstone of your effort at wellness or
well-being. Breathing, of course, is absolutely necessary in staying alive.
So why not breathe in life itself? Breathe it in deeply and serenely. And
while you fill your lungs with oxygen, you may find yourself freer from
the tension that had once limited you in so many ways. You may have
noticed in your life that people react to you in a completely different way
when you are relaxed. Becoming more relaxed can have advantages you
never knew were possible. With freedom from excessive tension, you
might just find yourself fulfilling your potential as you have always
wanted. With more freedom from tension you might just find life opening
itself up to you in ways you have hardly even imagined.